Breaking the Silence.

Hello Fellow Friends,

Have you ever just needed silence? Have things just gotten so busy, chaotic and crazy you just needed time away? That’s where I was at. Don’t worry or fret, I’m not saying I was depressed. Far from it actually, I just needed silence. I tried to write a blog post a million times it felt. I tried to type a post for any event/occasion. The words just weren’t coming. My fingers would type but it wouldn’t make sense and more times then not, the words were just fillers. Words I wanted to say so that it wouldn’t be silent. I was annoyed God wasn’t supplying the words.

That was wrong.

I was fighting so hard for it to be anything but silent when that’s all he wanted. Sometimes you learn the best when you sit in your room, starring at a wall and meditating on how gracious God has been too you. There were many nights close to Christmas I was making chocolate covered pretzels or Oreos and realized just how silly I had been. Why wouldn’t I want to be silent in front of the God who created the world, and me? It showed me just how selfish I was/is. How dare I get annoyed with God when all he wanted was for me to take time and be silent?

I think that me titling this “Breaking the Silence” is more of a metaphor for my own sanity. See, this is hard to explain but I wasn’t only trying no block out the silence I was also trying to block out feelings I had about myself. I have had to come to a rude awakening that while I may volunteer, share the gospel in the best ways I can with those I love, and pursue the Gospel daily I was stuffing from something very deadening; selfishness. The gospel calls us to cast it all away, to give up everything, even when it may not be convenient. I had to decide, could I do that? Could I be silent when asked by God? Could I listen when he spoke?

Yes, yes I can.

In starting a new year it caused much reflection, obviously. With that it also caused new hopes in my pursuit of the Gospel. Even with the Chaos of what God is calling me to, school, my life and my pursuit of the Gospel…. I will listen. I will learn how to become selfless in the shadow and hope of Christ.

Are you with me?

Praying for 2014, for everyone who reads this post and praying that you can break the silence, figure out what God is showing you and camp in that for a while.

Love you all,

XOXO,

Tiffany Anne.